btw - there are some spoilers for who hasn’t read the book
SHOOT HIM IN THE NIPPLE omg im crying
This is going to sound weird, or maybe not, but I always had this thought when I was younger that I’d be dead by 25 from some outside force (disease, car accident, something).
That would have happened 10 years ago.
I never really thought about what would happen after I was 25 or what I’d be doing or where I’d be. I also had really, really bad depression and got thrown out of two different colleges plus had to declare bankruptcy due to credit card debt.
Which is probably why I’m currently renting a bedroom in my parents’ house with diddlyshit money saved up, working in a job I don’t like, being in not great health with horrible teeth, and having very few friends instead of being someplace better right now.
nobody does panic like chandler bing (source)
(i’m so sorry in advance but come on how could i NOT stevetony this)
So it’s breakfast in Avengers Tower, and everyone’s caught up in their own thing- Bruce is arguing halfheartedly with Tony about their latest potentially lethal science experiment, Natasha is sipping her tea with one of her feet over Clint’s lap, Thor is paying attention to no-one but his beloved cereal, and Steve is finishing up with his scrambled eggs.
Steve has to go into SHIELD, and he’s kind of rushed his way through breakfast, scarfing it down tiredly. He puts his dishes in the sink and says, “Okay, bye guys,” and gets several weary grunts in return.
He hasn’t had enough sleep, the coffee hasn’t hit his system yet, and he’s thinking about paperwork, so he’s on autopilot when he pads to Tony’s side, bends down and kisses him goodbye.
For a second it’s fine, it’s normal, they’ve kissed a hundred times over and Tony goes with it with a pleased hum before turning back to Bruce, who is staring, and then it hits him.
Steve is already freezing in place by the time Tony whirls around in his seat with almost comically wide eyes, and a glance around confirms that yes, everyone is indeed staring at them. Thor has his spoon halfway to his mouth, milk dripping back into the bowl as Steve’s brain goes into hyperdrive.
Steve thinks, shit, which he supposes is a sensible thing to think after you’ve just kissed the man who has been your secret boyfriend for the past three months.
Mostly out of the voice in his head chanting shitshitshit, he goes into parade rest.
Tony is still staring at him along with everyone else, and Steve has this moment of absurd calm through the panic as he straightens up. He’s fought Nazis. He’s decapitated vampires. He’s saved the world twelve times now.
Steve Rogers is a master tactician who, despite what people may think, can lie his way through things as good as the next guy. He can do this.
All eyes still on him, Steve bends again. “Bruce,” he says in the same tone he had said ‘bye’ before, and then kisses him full on the mouth, closing his eyes out of politeness. He thinks he hears a squeak from beside him, like Tony’s trying not to choke.
Steve doesn’t look at him lest he starts hyperventilating, and keeps a straight face that he usually associates with blind panic as he bends again to kiss Thor, who, unlike Bruce, actually kisses back. It’s okay, a bit too bristly for Steve’s taste.
"Good to have you back," Steve says as he pulls away.
Complete silence reigns as Steve makes his way around the table- “Clint,” another kiss to a face who obviously thinks this is a weird dream, and then Steve hesitates before saying, “Tasha,” and kissing her on the forehead, which he considers a very wise choice. The last thing he needs is to show up to work with three stab marks from where she shoved a fork into his hand.
"Always a pleasure," he intones before stepping back, nodding to them all, and leaving.
If it weren’t for his super hearing, he probably wouldn’t be able to hear Clint say, “Okay, what the FUCK,” when he makes it halfway down the hall.
My goal is to become the number one designer of those tacky math book covers in Paint. Hermann knows what I am talking about.
Welcome to adulthood…
guess who got the original paint of that fourth pic
I saw The Book of Life Sunday.
I thought the movie was great. The story was interesting, the animation was absolutely gorgeous and fantastic, and Ron Perlman was awesome as a sortof devil with wings. I’ve got to get my hands on the soundtrack.
Also, I hope figures come out for this because I really want one of those cool horses from the Land of the Remembered/
My Axe Cop cosplay from Great Lakes Comic Con 10/18/14.
Great Lakes Comic Con 10/18/14. The top picture has the winners of the adult costume contest- Rocket & Groot came in 3rd, Swamp Thing was 2nd, and fem!Loki was 1st.
“The Land of the Remembered is an endless world. No ceiling, no floor, and always expanding. It’s inspired by and it incorporates elements of Mexican’s folk art, such as hearts and skulls. If you look closely, you can even see a guitar-shaped building hidden in the scene. This symbolizes Manolo’s true love for music.”
more of darowen's twitter headcanons
The forecast for my twitter: one hundred plus, equally lame/goofy Newmann headcanons; based on the reality. I am sorry to state, that, the headcanons will only get more personal (exponentially), as I shed my pitiful mortal husk and ascend to the highest state of Dr. Hermann Gottlieb.
Beetlejuice NES game